I have a friend that works the boats that takes out people for fishing. Among his many duties is baiting hooks for rookies. So when he started baiting hooks he had to first learn how to properly do it. so he was in essence an apprentice. \ Then after he learned he had to teach newer crew mates how to do it,, he was now a professional After many years of doing this he became, ready? wait for it... A master baiter.
I have a friend that works the boats that takes out people for fishing. Among his many duties is baiting hooks for rookies. So when he started baiting hooks he had to first learn how to properly do it. so he was in essence an apprentice. \ Then after he learned he had to teach newer crew mates how to do it,, he was now a professional After many years of doing this he became, ready? wait for it... A master baiter.
Dear Sir, madam, mrs, miss, ms, transgender, gay, lesbian or gender neutral person, It seems that your services at acme explosives is no longer required due to your constant smoking around explosives. Your termination is immediate. Sincerely the board of directors made up of a composite of 1 homosexual 1 lesbian. 1 transgender, 1 liberal , one conservative and several people of undisclosed sexuality.
Dear Sir, madam, mrs, miss, ms, transgender, gay, lesbian or gender neutral person, It seems that your services at acme explosives is no longer required due to your constant smoking around explosives. Your termination is immediate. Sincerely the board of directors made up of a composite of 1 homosexual 1 lesbian. 1 transgender, 1 liberal , one conservative and several people of undisclosed sexuality.
Now that you have your new pet liberal, you must remember you are dealing with an animal with very limited intelligence and high-strung. Feeding your new pet can be a problem as it eats mostly vegetables and rice, so remember to not feed them meat, chicken or fish as they will whine and cry. House breaking can be a complicated process, be patient and remember to repeat commands using as many simple one-syllable words as possible. You must never yell or hit your new pet, as its spirit ca...
Now that you have your new pet liberal, you must remember you are dealing with an animal with very limited intelligence and high-strung. Feeding your new pet can be a problem as it eats mostly vegetables and rice, so remember to not feed them meat, chicken or fish as they will whine and cry. House breaking can be a complicated process, be patient and remember to repeat commands using as many simple one-syllable words as possible. You must never yell or hit your new pet, as its spirit ca...
So as we moved into a new neighborhood, a man came up and introduced himself to us. Then he invited us to join the neighborhood weekly card game. He said the men play cards in the back of the house, and the women get drunk in the front. He topped his invite off with his house motto. Liquor in the front and poker in the rear. Say punchline out loud.
So as we moved into a new neighborhood, a man came up and introduced himself to us. Then he invited us to join the neighborhood weekly card game. He said the men play cards in the back of the house, and the women get drunk in the front. He topped his invite off with his house motto. Liquor in the front and poker in the rear. Say punchline out loud.
THEY ARE BOTH Dumb Animals Being Evil
THEY ARE BOTH Dumb Animals Being Evil
Well soon I am off to Canada and was wondering if there is anything I should know. Do you have hot and cold running water there? Indoors plumbing? Real coffee? Do you "do tea"? Is the food edible? Does anyone know how to speak English? If not should I hire a translator? Do you accept American dollars there? Heating and air conditioning invented there yet? Public transportation? Will I have to talk to any Canadians if I take some?
Well soon I am off to Canada and was wondering if there is anything I should know. Do you have hot and cold running water there? Indoors plumbing? Real coffee? Do you "do tea"? Is the food edible? Does anyone know how to speak English? If not should I hire a translator? Do you accept American dollars there? Heating and air conditioning invented there yet? Public transportation? Will I have to talk to any Canadians if I take some?
[ACTUAL] HEADLINES OF 2004: Crack Found on Governor's Daughter [imagine that!] Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says [no, really?] Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers [now that's taking things a bit far!] Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus? [not if I wipe thoroughly!] Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over [what a guy!] Miners Refuse to Work after Death [no-good-for-nothin' lazy so-...
[ACTUAL] HEADLINES OF 2004: Crack Found on Governor's Daughter [imagine that!] Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says [no, really?] Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers [now that's taking things a bit far!] Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus? [not if I wipe thoroughly!] Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over [what a guy!] Miners Refuse to Work after Death [no-good-for-nothin' lazy so-...
In Presidents Nukems State of My house Address The following policies were layed out. Before the First Lady leaves home to go to work, there must be hugs, kisses and "i Love Yous"Because it might be the last thing either one of us remember. Any member of a foreign settlement {that's anyone that does'nt live here} Cannot and will not try to make any house policies, under penality of being NUKED. All cats must use litter box and keep food in the plate, {we are presently being sued b...