Dear GOD, today I am Pissed off more than usual.

I am having a hard time understanding why I have not been sleeping, why am I ill?

Why is there so much hatred in the world?

I really did not get clean and sober so I could die a slow pain filled death.

There is something inherently wrong with a man so full of life to be laid low by a virus so small I can't see the damned thing.

I say this many times, " the king of the jungle, the male lion should never go toothless". "He should die at the height of his power, not old tired and decrepit".

Dear God you have never answered me about me wanting to take my own life, instead of just wasting away. Why is it such a huge SIN in your eyes? Why can't I when the time is right just end it?

I just cannot believe that YOU want me to fight to the bitter end, when I have no hope left.

Why do you let my people suffer so, and by extension my family and friends suffer too?

Understand GOD that I love you! and will follow your word, but does it have to be so damned hard?

Elie