I walked into the darkened room, a casket lies in the middle of the room.
The casket contains a symbol of how my disease is killing me.
I was filled with rage and hopelessness, I yearned for death daily.
I had felt nothing but despair for years and was to much a coward to kill myself.
The woman sitting next to me was grey in color, her eyes filled with broken blood vessels, her nose running. Pain emanated from her like the screech of a subway car cornering, loud and painful to feel.
Something inside me woke, I was feeling something I could not recognize anymore, I shut down immediately.
I sat with my head bent over hiding behind my hair which fell almost to the floor, trembling with this emotion.
Smoke break, we went outside to smoke and finally I looked at her as she asked my for a light, her eyes dulled by pain, and yet the blue came at me and struck another blow to my blunted senses. I knew she was trouble.
I came alive over the next few days, soon I realized I was feeling not compassion for her as I thought but something deeper, kinder more satisfying.. I was in love.
Thank you colleen for coming into my life and giving me a reason to live.