America has problems, but America is NOT THE PROBLEM!~
very cute stuff here. enjoy.
Published on November 4, 2005 By Moderateman In Blogging
The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to
take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or
changing one letter, and supply a new definition.


Maybe you guys can come up with a few new ones too. love, MM

Here are this year's 2005 winners:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the
subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until
you realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops
bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows
little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of
getting laid.

7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the
person who doesn't get it.

9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

12. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these
really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's
like, a serious bummer.

13. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day
consuming only things that are good for you.

14. Glibido: All talk and no action.

15. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when
they come at you rapidly.

16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after
you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into
your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

18. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in
the fruit you're eating.



Comments (Page 2)
3 Pages1 2 3 
on Nov 05, 2005
These are certainly funny, but many are far from original. I remember reading 5, 13 and 15 - 18 word for word on a single email that was circulating at my workplace some 4 or 5 years ago. From the way you word the post, MM, it appears that readers were required to develop their own new words, not swipe pre-existing examples off the ether. I hope that they credited their sources. Otherwise, it would surely not reflect well on MENSA to be passively supporting plagiarism.

P.S. Anybody else notice that some of the 'winners' - specifically 13, 16 and 18 - are surely invalid, in that they involve subtracting / adding / changing more than one letter, and thus fail even to fit the brief? I'm surprised at MENSA for allowing them to remain in the competition, let alone making them winners.
on Nov 05, 2005
Reply By: ShovelheatPosted: Friday, November 04, 2005Dil-D'OH! when you do something stupid and screw yourself...


good one joe, DOH!
on Nov 05, 2005
eply By: KellyW.Posted: Friday, November 04, 2005I loved #2...This was a good laugh.


as always when I post this kind of stuff, I am going for the laugh.
on Nov 05, 2005
Reply By: Furry CanaryPosted: Saturday, November 05, 2005These are certainly funny, but many are far from original. I remember reading 5, 13 and 15 - 18 word for word on a single email that was circulating at my workplace some 4 or 5 years ago. From the way you word the post, MM, it appears that readers were required to develop their own new words, not swipe pre-existing examples off the ether. I hope that they credited their sources. Otherwise, it would surely not reflect well on MENSA to be passively supporting plagiarism.P.S. Anybody else notice that some of the 'winners' - specifically 13, 16 and 18 - are surely invalid, in that they involve subtracting / adding / changing more than one letter, and thus fail even to fit the brief? I'm surprised at MENSA for allowing them to remain in the competition, let alone making them winners.


I did not notice oh great furry one, due to I have always thought mensa is like a freak show. Big IQ"S do not make a smart person.
on Nov 05, 2005
'I did not notice oh great furry one, due to I have always thought mensa is like a freak show. Big IQ"S do not make a smart person.'
I agree entirely. They always struck me as an organisation of mutual back-slappers - telling each other how clever they are and bathing in the glory of their own kudos, but not employing their supposed cleverness for any remotely useful purpose.
on Nov 05, 2005
I agree entirely. They always struck me as an organisation of mutual back-slappers - telling each other how clever they are and bathing in the glory of their own kudos, but not employing their supposed cleverness for any remotely useful purpose.


So when do we give the secret handshake?
on Nov 05, 2005
20 by Furry Canary
Saturday, November 05, 2005


agree entirely
Oh my God , surely this is one of the seven signs of the apocalypse, me and you agreeing.
on Nov 05, 2005
21 by Dr. Guy
Saturday, November 05, 2005


So when do we give the secret handshake?


shhhh it's for conservative men only doc.
on Nov 05, 2005
'Oh my God , surely this is one of the seven signs of the apocalypse, me and you agreeing.'
Don't tell Marvin Cooley!
on Nov 05, 2005
'Oh my God , surely this is one of the seven signs of the apocalypse, me and you agreeing.'
Don't tell Marvin Cooley!


He does not know the handshake!
on Nov 05, 2005
24 by Furry Canary
Saturday, November 05, 2005


Don't tell Marvin Cooley!


HEY!!!! MARVIN!!!! the world is ending!!!! helppppppppppppppppp
on Nov 06, 2005
Here are some for you, MM. They might not be Mensa worthy, but hopefully they're JU worthy.

LUCIFED: An evil IRS agent.

DINNERSWARE: Table language used at supper when food is served cold.

FURGERY: Hair transplants.

SLUGGAGE: Suitcases that sap your energy while carrying them in a airport terminal or train station.

FREDICT: To tell beforehand what women will be offered at singles bars.

PEEON: A servant into golden showers.

HURRICAME: Premature ejaculation exceeding 74 mph.

GICHAEL JACKSON: A sex offender who saves a lot on his insurance.
on Nov 07, 2005
8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the
person who doesn't get it.

There's a lot of this one going on!LOl!


Joe, good one!


UDigit....funny...FREDICT...nuts!
on Nov 07, 2005
Dil-D'OH! when you do something stupid and really screw yourself...


OMG--I nearly spit my coffee across the screen. Shovelheat--pure brilliance!

HURRICAME: Premature ejaculation exceeding 74 mph.

GICHAEL JACKSON: A sex offender who saves a lot on his insurance.


We've got quite the group of wordsmiths on our hands. I liked these two the best, UDigItTheMost!
on Nov 07, 2005
27 by uDigItTheMost
Sunday, November 06, 2005


HURRICAME: Premature ejaculation exceeding 74 mph.


all good ones but the above one cause me to spit coffee everywhere. heh all good stuff.
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