A beginners guide on what to say and how to think.
I am going to teach you the reader several lessons on how to be a dyed in the wool left wing liberal.
Lesson 1. Never under any circumstances take a hard, fast stand on any issue, always leave yourself wiggle room to take a totally opposing view with equal fervor. A perfect example and role model of this is HANOIJOHN Kerry, sit at his feet and learn.
Lesson 2. Remember looking good is much more important than having real substance, so smile, wear those designer clothes and be well spoken.
Lesson 3. Never answer a question from a reporter, deflect the subject if you can and if pinned down use as many words spoken as rapidly as possible without actually saying anything. Use ambiguous statements such as I think it's the wrong war, wrong time, then add but I support the troops, this makes you APPEAR to be patriotic and caring.
Foremost you must never accept any responsibility for any decision you have ever made as a person.
Lesson 4. Popularity is important, so be "all things" to as many people as possible. Remember being a politician is about garnering votes so get out there and pander to the lowest possible common denominator.
Lesson 5. Remind people how oppressed they are, and while you really have nothing in common with them "you understand there pain" and are there savior. If asked how you will save them refer to rule 1.
Lesson 6. When asked a tough question, pause and look thoughtful as if you are pondering an answer, nod your head several times or shake it back and forth then quickly call on another person and ignore the smart ass asking tough questions.
Lesson 7.This is very important, you must support abortion or you have no chance to become a liberal, none at all.
Lesson 8. You must support gun control for everyone but yourself, I suggest you study the works of Diane Feinstein and Babs Boxer both liberals from California.
Lesson 9. Enlarge your vocabulary, it will come in handy when you are trash talking, use terms like Jingonistic, ad hominem, compare the opponent to Hitler and Stalin as many times as possible.
Lesson 10. When on camera use this time to point out as many defects as you perceive them to be about the dreaded republicans and remember to never offer a solution as you may be called to act and produce at some future point.
You are now ready to join millions of other leftwing liberals, so have fun while you can. Be prepared when you age to change your opinions and join the rightwing when you have something of your own to lose.