Chapter one verse one: thou shalt not take the name of the President in vain.
verse two: Thou shall love thy modman with all thy heart and all thy soul.
verse three: thou shall not stress modman out or he will turn into a savage beast.
verse four: thou shall have sense enough to get out of the blazing sun, you idjit!
verse five: Thou shall have patience with the far left, as they know not what they do.
verse six: Thou shall be forgiving of your enemies.
Verse seven: If thy enemy strike you on the cheek, strike them back with a louisville slugger.
verse eight:Keep thy friends close and thy enemies at a safe distance in order to nuke em.
verse nine:When thou are confused and uncertain, stop toking and eat something.
verse nine: be humble in the presence of thine enemies, till they turn away then strike them. Hard.\
thus endeth the first chapter of the book of Mod.