America has problems, but America is NOT THE PROBLEM!~
One day that changed who I am.
Published on July 29, 2005 By Moderateman In Misc
It was Christmas night, bitter cold.
He had nowhere to go, he gave his last 4 dollars for a fix, and he was freezing ,snot running down his nose.

The cold was bone chilling, but he could not leave, he needed that shot.

Hours passed and still he stood on the corner unwilling to believe he had been ripped off for the last of his money.

Finally he left, seeking the warmth of a boiler room infested by cockroaches and rats, he did not care.

Hunger struck, and he threw up, the sickness of heroin withdrawals were coming on fast, cold sweat ran down his frail body, he was 6ft 2 inches tall and weighed 147 pounds.

He dug in his pocket and found 20 cents, just enough for a subway ride, he left the comfort of his hovel and walked to the train station on 125th street.

Leaving the train station he walked to Manhattan general hospital, begging to be let in, after hours he was escorted upstairs to the junkie ward, given a dose of methadone , slowly the drug took away his sickness.

Soon he started thinking, what have I done, I spend money, stick dull needles in my arm and shoot poison into my veins just to feel “normal”, I need help he thought.

After two weeks in the hospital going through withdrawals he jumped the turnstile in the subway and headed for the Bronx, his goal was to get into Phoenix house.

He waited at the ferry landing freezing waiting to get on Hart Island, finally he did go there, 10 months later he had a better grip on things.

HE NEVER used heroin again.

Comments
on Jul 29, 2005
I for one of many I am sure am glad that you made it through your bottom. I thank god daily for you being in my life. Lord knows that your many words of wisdom have helped me remain sober thes 4 almost 5 yrs. I thank god for AA HP AND YOU daily Thank you for being here for me always
on Jul 29, 2005
Cool story Moderateman! Well told. I'm glad it was true for you, and wish it was true for more people.

I remember in high school when friends of mine moved on from smoking pot to harder drugs. I never understood the ones that the person knows are so addictive. I used to ask people who were thinking of using heroine or cocaine (crack hadn't entered the picture yet)...

"You refuse to commit to anything, but your willing to commit to addiction?"

I guess that works for cigarettes too. ;~D
on Jul 29, 2005
Reply By: GimpyonePosted: Friday, July 29, 2005


you have been one of the gifts in my life michele, one of the promises we get when we sober up. thank you for being in my life.
on Jul 29, 2005
Reply By: ParaTed2kPosted: Friday, July 29, 2005Cool story Moderateman! Well told. I'm glad it was true for you, and wish it was true for more people.I remember in high school when friends of mine moved on from smoking pot to harder drugs. I never understood the ones that the person knows are so addictive. I used to ask people who were thinking of using heroine or cocaine (crack hadn't entered the picture yet)..."You refuse to commit to anything, but your willing to commit to addiction?" I guess that works for cigarettes too. ;~D


one of the things I was told by my first sponser was "if you put the same energy into staying sober as you put into getting stoned you will succeed"

Big john thank you for putting up with my antics, my rationals and my hardheaded ways. Big john took the most hopeless cases and sponsered them.
on Jul 29, 2005
5 by little_whip
Friday, July 29, 2005


God Bless you for this story of hope and inspiration, MM.

We can get clean, if we want to badly enough, but its something that has to come from deep within. This world is not enough for us junkies, not enough or too much. It hurts us in ways that 'normal' people can never hope to understand, it hurts so much we medicate it away...

Our hope lies not in the world, but from what's within.

You've got what it takes, dearheart.

(oh, and this is the MM i grew to care about, welcome back, where the hell you been?)


been suffering from the "oor me" syndrome, took a new friend to help me pry head from ass.

how is not smoking going?
on Jul 29, 2005
As one of those "normal" people who never got addicted to anything, but have seen so many close and far (friends) around me do, this truly is and should be an inspiration for others Elie. I'm glad you were able to find your way from the "darkside".
on Jul 29, 2005
Reply By: foreverserenityPosted: Friday, July 29, 2005As one of those "normal" people who never got addicted to anything, but have seen so many close and far (friends) around me do, this truly is and should be an inspiration for others Elie. I'm glad you were able to find your way from the "darkside


thank you, was not and is not easy some days but I "play the tape to the end" and decide on a daily basis to stay clean, "just for today"
on Jul 29, 2005
#9 by little_whip
Friday, July 29, 2005


how is not smoking going?


like shit.


well ya gave yer lungs a break cutting back for a few days.

corn ball time:

if at once you don't succeed try, try again.

laughs and ducks.