America has problems, but America is NOT THE PROBLEM!~
The Truth Comes out
Published on November 28, 2008 By Moderateman In Current Events

I have two daughters One who I speak with on a regular basis named Bobbi and one who I have not spoken to in 10 Years names Jennifer. This is the story about why Jennifer and I have not spoken.

Ten years ago I was still drugging and drinking, I would drug and drink to a blackout so many times I would have no idea what I was doing.

Let me give a little history about myself, I have always been very proud of the fact I have never laid hands on a female in anger, in any way shape or form, never pushed, pulled, hit, grabbed or touched one in anger, period!

When I asked Jennifer why she stopped talking to me I had thought it was about leaving her mother, but boy was I wrong, she told me I had hit her during a blackout and had a witness to the deed. naturally I was crushed beyond all words, I did not believe it, My ex-wife did not believe it either neither did Bobbi my other daughter, but one small part of my brain thought anything is possible and I have been carrying this unrelenting guilt around for ten years, just the possibility I might have laid hands on Jennifer.

Yesterdays Colleen and I spent Thanksgiving with my old family in Sonoma, everyone was there including Trey the so called witness to the deed; it was a good time but I kept away from Jennifer and Trey, finally Trey and I crossed paths and I sucked up all my raging fear and asked the dreaded question, "Trey? did you ever see me hit Jennifer?" expecting the worse. It was the worse; she told me "no Elie I never saw anything like that" Needless to say I was stunned, Trey reached out and touched my arm as she could see the pain in my eyes, I was so blown away, How could Jennifer tell a lie like that? Knowing what it would do to me? I turned around, grabbed Colleen and said "we gotta go honey" said my good byes and we left.

I explained to Colleen what happened in the car on the way home, Colleen was outraged and sad. Today in the light of morning I am so incredibly sad I almost can't breath, that my youngest would go for my throat like that,.


Comments (Page 2)
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on Dec 04, 2008

If you find out why she felt the need to lie about it, you may discover the real issue between the two of you.  She obviously wanted to hurt you.  Why?

The only reason I could think of is her mother and I split, but she was 21 when that happened, other wise I can see no reason for cutting me apart like this.

on Dec 04, 2008

Wow, Elie, that is a sad for you to find out. I'm sorry to hear the pain caused by all this.  Hopefully you will get to talk to her and find out why, because only she can say why.  I know it might never happen because of the way things are, and her alienation of all of you, but hopefully if she does rach out, that will happen for you.

on Dec 05, 2008

I am going to chjeck my E-mail asap, anything that would help deaden the pain would be most welcome.

My apologies my friend I thought I had the file here with me.  I will have to do it tonight from a source I KNOW it is.

on Dec 05, 2008

Adventure-Dude
I am going to chjeck my E-mail asap, anything that would help deaden the pain would be most welcome.My apologies my friend I thought I had the file here with me.  I will have to do it tonight from a source I KNOW it is.

Yeh I kinda thought there was some kinda glitch when I opened my E-mail and there was nothing from you. I await your email patiently.

on Dec 05, 2008

Yeh I kinda thought there was some kinda glitch when I opened my E-mail and there was nothing from you. I await your email patiently.


*Ding* <with sexy female voice> You've got mail big guy!

 

 

on Dec 05, 2008

MM...we don't know each other although I would welcome the chance to do so.

Tova7 was correct when she said there must be a reason. I don't know what that might be, but she obviously carries anger/rage over something.

Perhaps she might be receptive to the idea of therapy if it were broached by her sister...to include you as well. Perhaps in a "neutral" setting she might (eventually) be ready to reveal the source of this anger.

I assume you went thru a 12 step type program  in which one step would be apologizing to people you have wronged, provided such an apology wouldn't cause more pain to that person.

Clearly, I don't advise trying to do this in a one on one.

In any event, I'm sorry for your shock and pain, and proud of your progress. Good luck, and peace...

DrJ

on Dec 05, 2008

MM...we don't know each other although I would welcome the chance to do so.Tova7 was correct when she said there must be a reason. I don't know what that might be, but she obviously carries anger/rage over something.Perhaps she might be receptive to the idea of therapy if it were broached by her sister...to include you as well. Perhaps in a "neutral" setting she might (eventually) be ready to reveal the source of this anger.I assume you went thru a 12 step type program  in which one step would be apologizing to people you have wronged, provided such an apology wouldn't cause more pain to that person.Clearly, I don't advise trying to do this in a one on one.In any event, I'm sorry for your shock and pain, and proud of your progress. Good luck, and peace...DrJ

When this all started, I asked her why she stopped talking to me, her answer was "in a blackout you hit me"  and then she said "trey" her friend witnesses it. I found out later from Trey this was a lie. She is not ready to tell the truth and her sister Bobbi wants nothing to do with her, so I am sort of stuck here in limbo.

on Dec 05, 2008

Adventure-Dude
Yeh I kinda thought there was some kinda glitch when I opened my E-mail and there was nothing from you. I await your email patiently.*Ding* <with sexy female voice> You've got mail big guy!  

Will check mail now!

on Dec 05, 2008

THANK YOU AD, I will be keeping this and reading it over and over time to time, lots of good old fashioned common sense wisdom in there, thank you so much for sharing this with me, truly you are a friend!.

 

Elie

on Dec 05, 2008

THANK YOU AD, I will be keeping this and reading it over and over time to time, lots of good old fashioned common sense wisdom in there, thank you so much for sharing this with me, truly you are a friend!.

Well, thank you my friend.

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