I have lived lets say a 'colorful life' No one really know the depths except for Sabrina and Simon, although I am sure many of those that have really payed attention have got a real good idea where I came from {the dark} and where I am now.

I remember many times using cruel words to my friends, loved ones, wives, lovers, siblings, parents or anyone else that aroused my ire. Today I keep a tight reign on my tongue although far from perfect I am much better at keeping my cruel nature under some semblance of control.

I remember calling my children such wonderful things like "are you stupid?" "who dropped you on your head?" "What kind of moron are you?"

I have what is called a large voice, {trained battlefield command voice} it carries and the sheer volume hurts the ears it is aimed at.

'Dumb Bitch' along with 'stupid C##t" was my favorite names to call wives and lovers, with that nasty edge to it that makes the comment so much more hurtful.

I use to tell my Mother she was a useless piece of sh#t and why didn't she die already! My Brother is a peace advocate so I had many terms of endearment reserved for him, such as 'coward' 'faggot' 'Scumbag' {particular nasty New York inner city term}.

Friends that annoyed me received much the same, so they learned over the years annoying me was not a wise thing to do. I am not proud of this BTW, it is a sad statement to make.

All the above statements are hard to make, harder to own, even harder still to overcome.

So my question is have you or do you use cruel words with friends and family when you are pushed over the edge or do you just calmly do your best to communicate with them?