America has problems, but America is NOT THE PROBLEM!~
Published on January 9, 2007 By Moderateman In Humor

 This is the official list of the top twenty five real warning labels for real products that you and I purchase daily. How dumb do the manufacturers think we are anyways?

 

Unknown Air Conditioner
Caution: Avoid dropping air conditioners out of windows.

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Unknown Blow Dryer
Warning: Do not use while sleeping.

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White-Westinghouse 1600 Blow Dryer
Keep away from water

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Unknown Japanese Food Processor
Not to be used for anything else.

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Rowenta Iron
Warning: Never iron clothes on the body.

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Unknown Vacuum Cleaner
1. Do not use to pick up gasoline or flammable liquids 2. Do not use to pick up anything that is currently burning.

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Miller Lite
Consumption of alcoholic beverages impairs your ability to drive a car or operate machinery, and may cause health problems.

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McDonald's Coffee
Warning - Contents may be hot.

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7 Up
Contents under pressure. Cap may blow off causing eye or other serious injury. Point away from face and people, especially when opening.

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Swansea Institute of Higher Education, Wales, UK
A letter distributed to staff and students included the following message:

For safety reasons all staff and students are reminded that the taking of hot drinks out of the Refectory / fast food areas is strictly forbidden.

Several slipping accidents have already occurred as a result of liquid being spilt on the floor and the probability of someone suffering from a serious scalding accident whilst walking along busy corridors and getting into crowded lifts is high.

Your full cooperation in ensuring that you do not put yourself and others at risk is required.

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Canada Dry Club Soda
Warning: Contents under pressure. Cap may blow off causing eye or other serious injury. Point away from face and people, especially while opening.

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Tesco Fruit Juice Carton
On bottom side: "Keep Upright".

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Sainsburys Mineral Water
Suitable for vegetarians.

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Silk Soy Milk
Shake well and buy often

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Volvic Natural Mineral Water
Bottle exclusively designed for the use of Volvic Natural Mineral Water. Do not refill.

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Moet White Star Champagne
Warning: Remove label before placing in microwave.

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Ballatore Gran Spumante Champagne
Be careful! Point bottle away from self and others to avoid serious eye injury. Stopper may eject forcefully while you are removing the hood or at any time after hood removal. Bottle contains high pressure which increases with warmth or shaking.

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Child-Sized Superman Costume
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.

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Unknown Batman Costume
Warning: Cape does not enable user to fly.

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Champion Swimmer Supporter Jockstrap
This product is only to be prescribed by a physician and fit only by a trained technician.

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Unknown Graduation Gown
Do not wash or dry clean.

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Various Computers
Keyboard not detected. Press F1 to continue

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Unknown European Camera
This camera will only work when film is inside.

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Lucent Technologies Model 6210 Telephone
The following is found on page 4 of the instruction book:

To place or answer a call, lift the handset.
To place a call, dial the desired number.
To end the call, hang up the handset.

Another gem, also on Page 4:
To put a call on Hold: Press "Hold".

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Various Personal Computers
On startup: No keyboard detected. Press any key to continue.

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Comments
on Jan 09, 2007
It's not how dumb manufacturers think we are... it is how dumb we have already been. I guarantee that for 90-100% of those labels there is an accident and a lawsuit in it's past.
on Jan 09, 2007
I guarantee that for 90-100% of those labels there is an accident and a lawsuit in it's past.


I agree with you on this!LOL! But man they are funny!LOL!  
on Jan 09, 2007
it is how dumb we have already been


Or how litigous a society we are due to the lack of social darwinism.
on Jan 09, 2007

Reply By: greywarPosted: Tuesday, January 09, 2007
It's not how dumb manufacturers think we are... it is how dumb we have already been. I guarantee that for 90-100% of those labels there is an accident and a lawsuit in it's past.

your probably 100% right.

on Jan 09, 2007

Reply By: foreverserenityPosted: Tuesday, January 09, 2007
I guarantee that for 90-100% of those labels there is an accident and a lawsuit in it's past.


I agree with you on this!! But man they are funny!!

that's why I had to cut and paste them, they cracked me up too.

on Jan 09, 2007

Reply By: Dr. GuyPosted: Tuesday, January 09, 2007
it is how dumb we have already been


Or how litigous a society we are due to the lack of social darwinism

If we could just go back to the days of everyone carries a gun strapped to there thighs

and gets to use it.

on Jan 09, 2007
One of my college room mates actually ironed her clothes while they were on her body. Yes, she burned herself. Luckily, not too badly.
on Jan 09, 2007

Reply By: momijikiPosted: Tuesday, January 09, 2007
One of my college room mates actually ironed her clothes while they were on her body. Yes, she burned herself. Luckily, not too badly.

Please, please tell me yer funnin me.

on Jan 09, 2007
If there's a warning label, some dumbass has done it.

The one that puzzles the hell out of me is the champagne in the microwave. WTF?
on Jan 10, 2007

Reply By: MasonMPosted: Tuesday, January 09, 2007
If there's a warning label, some dumbass has done it.

The one that puzzles the hell out of me is the champagne in the microwave. WTF?

obviously he had a hot date.

on Jan 11, 2007
Elie, what the heck happened to your site? IT's all weird on me, with stripes down the sides, very heavily bordered all over? It's a change if you did it like that but just wondering?!
on Jan 16, 2007
Champion Swimmer Supporter Jockstrap
This product is only to be prescribed by a physician and fit only by a trained technician


What sort of training does one have to do to become a professional jockstrap fitter?

Happy New Year Elie!
on Jan 18, 2007
Please, please tell me yer funnin me.


Ha. I wish I was. She played soccer for our university team. Obviously a little too many headers.

Now, just recently, I had to remind a model at a photoshoot I was at not to iron on her body. I could see her thinking about it. I also had to warn her off using the vinyl covered seat of a chair. She probably would have come to the not using her body on her own, but the chair...


Now hurry up, get well and get out of the hospital.
on Jan 18, 2007
One of my college room mates actually ironed her clothes while they were on her body. Yes, she burned herself. Luckily, not too badly.


Actually, in the early '90s, pitcher John Smoltz went on the DL because he ironed his clothes while he was still in them. True story.