Pretty much the same as you. They come and they go.

I remember hearing an analogy once that compared relationships to a bottle -you drink and drink and drink from it until it's...empty. So yeah, I've had some like that. And then there's others that last and last but are not that intense. I have some like that.

But then you know who your real friends are when the chips are down. The one taht comes around when others back away are, well, like gold.

In my youth, I made lots of friends, most are either incarcerated or dead now.

Now a-days, I pretty much keep to myself. The closest friend I have is about 125 miles away, and the next 2 or 3 are between 2200 and 3200 miles away.

I only have 3 or 4 friends, and thats about all I need.

I guess I'm not all that friendly of a person anymore.

That is one thing I have had a hard time with as a military spouse. It seems like military spouses make quick friendships because everyone on post is away from their families and we grow to love and count on each other like family. The sad thing is that once someone transfers almost always you gradually lose touch. At first their are phone calls, then just an email forward every now and then, then you are only on the Christmas card list and eventually you lose touch completely. It's sad because when we lived close together I was very close with many of these woman. I do have one friend that I have stayed in touch with for over five years now. I have a best friend where I live now but she has let me down at a time when I really needed a friend. I still am friends with her but disappointed just the same.

It seems like their are many aquaintances but only a few truly good friends.

Reply #1 Pretty much the same as you. They come and they go.

why does this not suprise me mason?

(Citizen)ShovelheatDecember 3, 2006 15:05:04

But then you know who your real friends are when the chips are down

simple and very very true.

I had a difficult time with friends as a child. Not that I couldn't make them, but didn't want to make any, because, sooner or later, I knew that there would be a possibility that they wouldn't be there in the future. As I got older, I started making them, and learning how to live in the present. Some friends are great friends and you think they are going to last forever, and other people you meet, you're certain that they're temporary, like summer vacation friends, or chance meeting with strangers on a bus, or train. Funny, how sometimes it's those ones that remain.

I try to appreciate every single friend that I have, because you never know how long they're going to be around for.

HMMM great article Elie. I really had a hard time making friends and keeping them, I really USE to suck at friendship. I am not sure if it was because of my alcoholism or my lack of trust I had/have. I know where the lack of trust came from and I think you probably do too. I won't go into that here, I can't. I am really good at pushing people away, once I feel like they are getting too close than bamm, brakes go on and away you go. But You have taught me what true friendship is all about. You have always stuck by me no matter what. No matter how hard I tried to push away at the beginning you wouldn't let me. I would never let you push me away either. We have a deal and I will never break that deal. YOU will never ever loose me as a friend, best friend at that. I love you very much my sweetest of friends.

I am really good at pushing people away, once I feel like they are getting too close than bamm, brakes go on and away you go.

Exactly

Having moved around most of my life, I am like you.  They come they go, but few stay.

After that beautiful piece you just wrote,  it's difficult to tell the patterns of friendship that have wafted through my life.

There were the childhood friends,  simply because of location.

There were the teenage friends,  born of similar life circumstances,  we weren't clicque material,  yet not the ones that were into trouble,  so we hung out together,  sort of Misfits.

There was people I met while I was pregnant,  raising babies,  and they've all gone their own way

The people that have stayed are the ones I met 11 years ago,   and these friends are the ones that love me no matter what.  Sadly I'll be leaving them in a couple of months.

Now I"ll be making new friends,  in this final move and destination of my life

Reply By: ShovelheatPosted: Sunday, December 03, 2006 I am really good at pushing people away, once I feel like they are getting too close than bamm, brakes go on and away you go. Exactly

bAH! she tried and tried to push me away joe, but I perservered and have this incredible woman in my life.. till death do us part.

Reply By: TrudygolightlyPosted: Monday, December 04, 2006 After that beautiful piece you just wrote, it's difficult to tell the patterns of friendship that have wafted through my life. There were the childhood friends, simply because of location. There were the teenage friends, born of similar life circumstances, we weren't clicque material, yet not the ones that were into trouble, so we hung out together, sort of Misfits. There was people I met while I was pregnant, raising babies, and they've all gone their own way The people that have stayed are the ones I met 11 years ago, and these friends are the ones that love me no matter what. Sadly I'll be leaving them in a couple of months. Now I"ll be making new friends, in this final move and destination of my life

what a heartfelt and lovely reply.. best to you in the rest of your life.

Most of my friend's are seasonal. They are about half military/half civilian and we hang out and have fun. Then one military moves on and another fills her spot. Or I move on and someone fills mine.

I don't have a problem with seasonal friendships. I stopped yearning and missing and trying to stay in touch and feeling bad for not doing it long long ago. When I leave a base I say "goodbye, maybe we'll meet again, it was great fun knowing you," and then I get on with life.

I recognize seasonal friends for what they are, and enjoy the moment. In over twenty years of moving around with the military, I have one friend who was there from the beginning. But that is starting to peter out as the things we have in common erode.

I have life long friends though, civilians, but it can be difficult to keep up when you only see them once every couple years, if that. But I know they are there, and they know I am too, if they need me.

It's corny, but my husband really fills that "best friend 4ever" spot for me. The seasonal friends fill the left over stuff..I don't have time for the best buddie kind of relationship a lot of women want.