The Dark

Published on August 25, 2006 By Moderateman In Misc

Sitting alone in the dark, blinds drawn to keep the joy of day locked outside.

I hear sobbing, feel wet tears scalding hot run down my ruined face.

Chest heaving, the sobs turn to wailing, railing against this disease I have no control over.

Thoughts of Colleen, the pain she must feel watching her knight in shining armour rot away into nothing.

Sitting on the pity pot so long now I have a ring around my ass from the weight of my body pressing so tightly downwards.

Watching my world spiral out of control, helpless.

The tears stop flowing, as I sit disgusted at my own weakness.

Time is no friend of mine! Self pity eats me alive as I wonder what I did to be in such a state.

Is this KARMA finally exacting justice for my past deeds? I have no answer.. I have no life, I have no hope..

To see the words "the end" at the finish of this time on planet earth would be a blessing.

Comments

jennifer1

on Aug 25, 2006

quote ---- The tears stop flowing, as I sit disgusted at my own weakness.

end quote

Don't ever do that be disgusted with what you perceive as weakness! A good cry does more good than harm!

The body is weak the mind is powerful!

Open those blinds and let the light in, let the joy of the day in.

Sending you love and light

Dr Guy

on Aug 25, 2006

To see the words "the end" at the finish of this time on planet earth

We all see that. Some breath more years than others. For some it is a blessing. For others a curse.

It is the dash that makes the difference. And you have no reason to regret the dash. Good men never do.

Tova7

on Aug 25, 2006

((((((MM)))))))

Locamama

on Aug 25, 2006

Modman, This breaks my heart. I wish I could make you better. Just don't give up. A life without hope is horrible. hugs.

Locamama

on Aug 25, 2006

Also, I have to add that life is worth living when you have a partner who truly loves and cares about you. I would give almost anything to have that in my life.

foreverserenity

on Aug 27, 2006

Why don't you get on with the business of LIVING while you still can?

Amen!

((((((((((Elie))))))))))))

InBloom

on Aug 27, 2006

What is your "weakness", though? Haven't you been standing up to this illness for quite awhile? Haven't you tried to keep your head up through it all?
Your writings (which is what I know you through) rarely seem to venture into self pity...they are filled with passionate stances, love for your wife, humor...but not weakness.

I pray that your spirits lift out of this darkness soon.

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