America has problems, but America is NOT THE PROBLEM!~
Published on May 2, 2006 By Moderateman In Fiction Writing
The sweat poured over his eyes, the band on his head soaked from waiting days in intolerable heat and humidity.

He glanced at his spotter and the O.I.C. of this op. Once more he glanced through the scope, there he was, all pressed and clean,

He figured 700 yards, not out of his best shot by far. He took a deep breath, let it out slowly and caressed the trigger, he rolled with the shot, bringing the scope down to see where his target was hit, then the world exploded! They must have been spotted themselves, quickly they packed up and started to run. Cambodia was not supposed to be part of this war, but he went where he was told, 80 miles to the Vietnam border, run!

Run! the three men although unequal in rank, were now united in one thing and one thing only.. run! Hours passed and they could still hear the troops on there tail, too many to fight, there was only one thing to do, run! Hours passed, breath coming in short gasps, run! Life turned into the pounding of his feet against the earth, run was all he could think, soon his weapon grew to heavy, he smirked at the officer and tossed his prize 1903 Springfield, run.. Early daylight turned into night, no stopping, watering themselves at full tilt. run.. Legs started to turn into lead weights and still they ran, the sound of pursuit grew fainter, but that gave no comfort to them, it could be the V.C. on their tails now and they were silent as the mist, run...

Night turned into daybreak and on they ran.. run!.. life had turned into a self imposed torture, run.. The miles became endless.. how many have they already run? how many to go till safety?.. run! Now the third day was approaching, they must be close, run!!

Lungs heaving, back breaking, fear induced, run... Muscles crying from the build up of lactic acid and not enough water.... run!

Over the last hill through a rice paddy, smiling faces, brothers faces, they were saved, no need to run anymore!
118 Miles they figured they ran, collapsing to the moist ground, falling instantly asleep, dreaming of ...,run!
Comments (Page 2)
2 Pages1 2 
on May 02, 2006
Reply By: Ms. MitchellPosted: Tuesday, May 02, 2006This piece has a great rhythm and cadence. Great for reading out loud.Take this one to an open mic night! Maggie


naw me mug is wayyyyyyyy to oooogly to try and read something in public, besides I am shy.
on May 02, 2006
17 by little-whip
Tuesday, May 02, 2006


Wow, Elie!

You really have to keep at this, your talent for creative writing seems like a seed ready to burst forth, I can't wait to see it in full bloom!

Enjoyed it immensely, i really did.


you already know what I think about your writing skills.

This means alot to me sabrina.

elie
on May 02, 2006
This made my heart race, I could feel the fear. Well written.
on May 02, 2006
Reply By: spindoctor(Anonymous User)Posted: Tuesday, May 02, 2006This made my heart race, I could feel the fear. Well written.Bonus Rating: Trolling Insightful


darn it get a screen name. but thank you
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