MM tries Haiku

Sorry to put youse thru dis

Published on June 12, 2007 By Moderateman In Writing

Haiku! bless you he said,

smile,ear to ear grin,

blows nose gently, goodbye

Comments (Page 2)

Moderateman

on Jun 12, 2007

Reply By: JythierPosted: Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Great... er... thing... er... poem, I suppose. Can we call it haiku? Not sure. But it was funny.

Obviously I am a man that does not know the difference between a Haiku and an Ah choo.. so call it what pleases you.

dynamaso

on Jun 12, 2007

Whatever it is, I liked Elie.

Moderateman

on Jun 12, 2007

(Citizen)dynamasoJune 12, 2007 20:15:58

Whatever it is, I liked Elie.

hey long time no see, how ya maso? hows der lady?

Chakgogka

on Jun 12, 2007

I am a points whore
Please comment on MY haiku
You can find it here

dynamaso

on Jun 12, 2007

Elie,

We're both doing well, with the exception of the usual wintery sniffles. Both very busy and, as you may have noticed, I've not been around here much lately. Too much to do and not enough time. Still, good to catch up with you, mate. Hope all is well with you and yours. Wish Colleen a happy birthday from me.

InBloom

on Jun 13, 2007

Nice one, MM.

Moderateman

on Jun 13, 2007

Reply By: ChakgogkaPosted: Tuesday, June 12, 2007
I am a points whore
Please comment on MY haiku
You can find it here

done!

Moderateman

on Jun 13, 2007

Reply By: dynamasoPosted: Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Elie,

We're both doing well, with the exception of the usual wintery sniffles. Both very busy and, as you may have noticed, I've not been around here much lately. Too much to do and not enough time. Still, good to catch up with you, mate. Hope all is well with you and yours. Wish Colleen a happy birthday from me.

I still have trouble wrapping my brain around winter there, summer here. hmmmmm.

Glad all is well there, all is good here, I am recovered now and am as strong as I am going to get. yayyyyyyyy.

Hard to kill, MM

Moderateman

on Jun 13, 2007

Reply By: InBloomPosted: Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Nice one, MM.

What? MY Haiku or comment to yeor other half about his luck being with you?

uDigItTheMost

on Jun 13, 2007

Glad joes comments brought a smile to dat mug, but being with rose you must smile alot anyways.

ModMan, I don't have to tell you what the love of a good woman does for a man. We're both lucky guys. Or as Joe will say, "Lucky fuckers".

Moderateman

on Jun 14, 2007

Reply By: uDigItTheMostPosted: Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Glad joes comments brought a smile to dat mug, but being with rose you must smile alot anyways.

ModMan, I don't have to tell you what the love of a good woman does for a man. We're both lucky guys. Or as Joe will say, "Lucky fuckers".

yes no doubt about that, being in love and have that love returned is truly a gift.

Ravenblack

on Jun 15, 2007

English Haiku does not (necessarily) require the syllable count 5-7-5 as Japanese Haiku.

http://www.ahapoetry.com/keirule.htm

Poets have used an alternative form and retain the haiku spirit. What matters is that meaning is most condensed, and each line depicts a scene and the entire piece gives reader new insight or an interesting unifying perspective.
But I agree with some above, I find this piece a little cute.

MasonM

on Jun 15, 2007

MM is righteous
His haiku sadly is not
We love him the same

Moderateman

on Jun 19, 2007

Reply By: little-whipPosted: Friday, June 15, 2007
Haiku! bless you he said, (six syllables)

smile,ear to ear grin, (five)

blows nose gently, goodbye (six)

Uhmm, I hate to be the only one to tell ya this, Elie, but a Haiku either has a 5-7-5 syllable pattern or a 3-5-3. It's based on syllables rather than word count, but even if it were based on word count it doesn't 'fit.' (5-5-4?)

It's still cute, and I still loves ya.

\thanx for still loving me, notice the title. "MM TRIES Haiku"

Moderateman

on Jun 19, 2007

Reply By: RavenblackPosted: Friday, June 15, 2007
English Haiku does not (necessarily) require the syllable count 5-7-5 as Japanese Haiku.

http://www.ahapoetry.com/keirule.htm

Poets have used an alternative form and retain the haiku spirit. What matters is that meaning is most condensed, and each line depicts a scene and the entire piece gives reader new insight or an interesting unifying perspective.
But I agree with some above, I find this piece a little cute.

Thank you raven, I gave it a shot, sometimes you shoot and miss, I shot and missed on this one, but as long as some found it to be cute and smiled , I am content.

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