America has problems, but America is NOT THE PROBLEM!~

All these plans to stop smoking. All the multitudes of ways to lose weight, HA! none of them really WORK. The moderateman plan to loss weight is GUARANTEED TO PEEL weight off and whats best about it you won't even notice the weight melting away!! What is best about this most excellent weight loss you get to quit smoking cigarettes at the same time with absolutely no craving for nicotine.

Here is how my programs works, yes I am giving away the secret of the program because success such as this must be shared with others in need at no cost.. not a single penny.

First somehow you must come down with a fatal or almost fatal case of viral pneumonia, then the trick is to make it to a hospital before you fall into a full blown coma, the coma MUST be extended for at least three weeks {21 days for the math challenged}. When I entered the hospital I weighed 245 pounds on Jan. 12, 2007 and smoked 2 packs of pall mall unfiltered cigarettes a day, when I left on the 6th of Feb. I was a sleek 198 pounds and had not smoked for 26 days with no trouble at all. Today is the beginning of my 3rd month of no smoking, and while I have gained a small amount of weight back, 206 is nothing when you compare it to 245 is it folks?

While this article has taken me 3 days to write due to extreme weakness on my part, I must say I have enjoyed doing this.

Remember to tell those to you love, that "YOU LOVE THEM TODAY" it might be your last chance to say those words.

Colleen said just before I went into a coma the last thing I said to her was " coll? I so love you my sweet baby" If I had died that would have been good words for her to have remembered as my last words to her.

Love to all,

 

Elie

 

PS IF ANYONE BOTHERS TO RESPOND TO THIS, I WILL BE RESPONDING BACK.. SLOWLY.. BUT RESPOND I WILL.


Comments (Page 2)
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on Mar 13, 2007
Great to see you posting again my friend.
on Mar 13, 2007
LOL! You're back my funny, funny friend! I love this, so you and it's good to read you in rare form again! You take care and remember we love you! I don't smoke but I'll sign up, as long as I wake up too!   
on Mar 13, 2007
And here I've been working so hard at this weight watchers thing. It's working but it's slow. Or at least slower than I would like. I just want to unzip the fat suit and be a hottie again. I'll get there without the drastic measures you had to take...eventually.

Glad to see you back. (((hugs)))
on Mar 14, 2007

Reply By: Texas WahinePosted: Tuesday, March 13, 2007
, brilliant article.

I quit smoking and lost weight because of pregnancy. That might be an alternate, safer plan, although not so realistic for male-type people.

*big, big, big, biiiiig hug*

And tell Colleen thank you for taking such good care of you for us, Elie.

 

I thought this had just the right tone tex.. I just could not see the point of whining about the trials and tribulations of the crap I went through.

I passed on your kind words to colleen, she is truly the strongest and most amazing person.

on Mar 14, 2007

Reply By: uDigItTheMostPosted: Tuesday, March 13, 2007
ModMan,

It's nice to come in JU, browse around and see your name under 'Recent Joeuser Articles'. It's good to see ya and good to see you're getting better.

Three months without a cigarette is super. Here's hoping you continue.

Seems like the dr. was quite serious about me stopping, he just said point blank.. "you start smoking, with those lungs, you die, fast"

on Mar 14, 2007

Reply By: SSG GeezerPosted: Tuesday, March 13, 2007
I decided to just skip the pneumonia and just quit the cancer sticks. And I like to eat and can pass tape so to heck with a crash diet like yours!

Glad you are doing better.

your way sounds so much more sensible. better? yes.. well? not by a long shot..

on Mar 14, 2007
will get to other responces soon as I can, I hear nap time calling.
on Mar 14, 2007
Have an hour on me! Snark! Damn DST!
on Mar 19, 2007
i know this is a bit belated, as i've been tied up with life lately, but i wanted to welcome ya back, soldier (with a salute in your direction)...

take care,,,we'll argue later...
on Mar 19, 2007

Reply By: little-whipPosted: Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Find someone with the disease, take a straw shove it down there throat into the lungs and suck some fluid out?


Is that how you got it, Elie?

 

Nope I shoved a straw up someones butt into their lungs then sucked.

on Mar 19, 2007

Reply By: shadesofgreyPosted: Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Elie, my friend, what a boost to my afternoon to see a blog from you--though I think I'll take a pass on the diet. It doesn't sound like my cup of tea at all. Hope you are getting stronger each day. Sending my love to both you and Colleen.

Meg? truly you are one of a kind and that is a way good thing. smoootch.

on Mar 19, 2007

Reply By: Dr GuyPosted: Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Have an hour on me! Snark! Damn DST!

Been getting many hours doc a I guess I can label one of them docguys hour. heh heh

on Mar 19, 2007

Reply By: Sean Conners aka SConn1Posted: Monday, March 19, 2007
i know this is a bit belated, as i've been tied up with life lately, but i wanted to welcome ya back, soldier (with a salute in your direction)...

take care,,,we'll argue later...

Looking forward to that sean. may all good things happen to you till then.

 

elie

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