LocamamaSeptember 28, 2006 13:30:15

Once you say something, though, you can't take it back. It's there for eternity. That's important to remember. That's exactly it, Tex. After you have made up and decide you want to stay together those hurtful comments keep haunting you. They are never forgotten.

I was told that "is winning an arguement worth destroying your ol lady" I answered yes, hell yes, because I was still very angry, then I thought about it, and never did that again. Both Colleen and I have some smart mouths on us so we never use them against each other. anymore.

I'm gonna have to sit on the fence for this one.  I think there are times when either approach is in use, perhaps both at the same time.

When people fight they tend to drop to the base instincts and resort to some of their worst behavior.  With that said I don't think all of the things said in those arguments are based in truths.  Sometimes certainly, but not always.

It is ashamed that people will get down and dirty in arguments though, and it can take quite a while to repair the damage that can be done in just a few seconds or minutes worth of arguing.  Sometimes it may help bring issues out that needed to be resolved, but it's still far better to talk about things with calm and rational heads prevailing than to take things to the next level and be screaming at each other in heated arguments.

(Citizen)terpfan1980September 28, 2006 15:14:07

Sometimes it may help bring issues out that needed to be resolved, but it's still far better to talk about things with calm and rational heads prevailing than to take things to the next level and be screaming at each other in heated arguments.

when someone screams at me, I hear nothing but NOISE, not a single word of WORTH gets through. I assume that when I am screaming at someone, it is the same for them.
As I have aged I have learned that quiet talk works because the person you are talking quietly to has to pay attention.

Once you say something, though, you can't take it back. It's there for eternity. That's important to remember.

so true. the hurt lays buried deep too.

Once you say something, though, you can't take it back. It's there for eternity. That's important to remember.

So very true.

I am not one to bite my tongue when I have something that needs to be said to my husband. I have tried to hold it in at times especially when I can tell it is going to lead into a arguement.

I have never been able to play the role of ''I'm so happy'' when I'm not. I just can't pull it off. I'd end up snappin' at innocent people all day. Not to mention the stress you go through by stewing over something for hours or longer. It's not healthy.

While I can't say that I have NEVER said anything just to hurt him, for the most part, most of what I say is really how I am feeling.

While there definately are some exceptions, I would have to say for me that my true feeling come out when I'm angry.

(Citizen)jennifer1September 28, 2006 16:12:11

Once you say something, though, you can't take it back. It's there for eternity. That's important to remember. so true. the hurt lays buried deep too.

yet when this lesson is "LEARNED" some of us repeat the mistake over and over.

I had to wait till I was almost 50 before I got how bad words hurt your loved one.

(Citizen)SeriousKissSeptember 28, 2006 16:38:58

nice to "meet" you, welcome to my blog.

have never been able to play the role of ''I'm so happy'' when I'm not. I just can't pull it off. I'd end up snappin' at innocent people all day. Not to mention the stress you go through by stewing over something for hours or longer. It's not healthy.

totally agreed.

While there definately are some exceptions, I would have to say for me that my true feeling come out when I'm angry.

and this would be a good reason to sit quietly and work out what is bothering you. That's what I do, work it out before it has a chance to get ugly inside.

It's funny how a bit of aging helps in this department. When I was younger I had quite the temper but only if I felt I wasn't being heard or understood by my husband. It would infuriate me if he would laugh at the inappropriate time. So the frustration level would reach quite the high and anything remotely close would get flung. It only happened a few times. The last time I did this was it for me. I flung a spoon at my husband and since my shot is terrible (I couldn't hit the side of a barn with a tennis ball three feet away)I ended up chipping my brand new countertop right in the middle of our brand new bar. Right in the middle! I took that as my consequence and never threw another darn thing.

While we have our little spats now and then it's nothing like it was when we were younger. It's too much work and who needs the stress? The way I look at it now is there is enough stress in the outside world. I don't need to create some here inside my place of comfort. My hubby still likes to call me a spitfire but I think there's more spit than fire nowadays. Now it's only my eyes that do the flashing. My hands stay to myself...  

Citizen)KFC (Kickin For Christ

My hubby still likes to call me a spitfire but I think there's more spit than fire nowadays. Now it's only my eyes that do the flashing. My hands stay to myself...

the eyes can say much more than mere words. that cannot keep your husband happy btw, keeping your hands to yourself. eh eh eh eh eh {dirty old man laugh}

I'm from the if they voted for Bush, beat the shit out of them.

S.S. NAZI COLGENE

I'm from the if they voted for Bush, beat the shit out of them.

gene you are one sick twisted puppy.

that cannot keep your husband happy btw, keeping your hands to yourself. eh eh eh eh eh {dirty old man laugh}

MEN!!! geesh ......is that all you think about?  

One school says that words are said that are not the truth, just put out there to hurt.



The other school thinks that in anger the truth of things come out, you say what you have been feeling for years. - ModerateMan

When I think I'm telling the truth those words are meant to hurt, but always I later say they were only made in anger.

gene you are one sick twisted puppy. - ModerateMan

I don't think that's Col.Gene out there, MM...

Once you say something, though, you can't take it back. It's there for eternity. That's important to remember

I know that all too well, I threw something (verbally) in my sister's face a few years ago, and it really hurt her. I've only done that I think twice in my life.

I tend to let things pile up and then errupt....like a volcano. Not good.

I'm trying to learn to talk about issues when they arise and deal with them immediately. And that's not easy for me.

When I think I'm telling the truth those words are meant to hurt, but always I later say they were only made in anger

Reply By: DeferencePosted: Thursday, September 28, 2006

so is your retraction by saying "it was only in anger" the truth?